As I delved into the world of the action-packed thriller “The Serpent,” my mind couldn’t help but conjure up the vivid image of the hosts from “How Did This Get Made?” dissecting and roasting this cinematic catastrophe. The film is now available for streaming, and if ever there was a movie tailor-made for a hilarious teardown by Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, and June Diane Raphael, this would be it.
“Love Strikes Twice” seems to encapsulate the essence of this movie perfectly. Picture a live episode from Largo, with Paul Scheer earnestly attempting to unravel the film’s convoluted plot, Jason Mantzoukas finding amusement in the chaos, and June Diane Raphael expressing a mix of amusement and bewilderment. “The Serpent” is a train wreck from start to finish, a comically questionable piece of “cinema” crafted by individuals who, quite frankly, might be better off not making movies at all.
Set in supposed locations scattered across the globe, the film’s authenticity quickly unravels as it becomes evident that everything was shot in the heart of Los Angeles. From questionable scenes set in New York right outside the unmistakable Los Angeles Theater to heavily CGI-ed explosions, Rudy Ray Moore-esque fight sequences, lackluster performances, and cringe-worthy dialogue, it leaves viewers wondering if the entire production was merely a front for laundering ill-gotten funds.
This cinematic disaster marks the filmmaking debut of Russian model Gia Skova, who takes on the roles of writer, director, and lead actress. Skova portrays Lucinda Kavsky, a CIA agent on the run, revealing a plot involving turning newborns into nuclear weapons. However, the peculiarity doesn’t end there – Skova’s character, despite being a Russian agent, has her voice dubbed with a British accent.
The plot unfolds with a preposterous premise involving Chinese bio-engineers, secret missions, and the implantation of chips in babies to create “bio-bombs.” The film takes an unusual approach by unveiling the identity of the main antagonist in the first ten minutes, a narrative choice that typically awaits the climax. What follows is a convoluted flashback, where the Serpent unwittingly collaborates with the Big Bad, embarking on a mission to save a child from detonation and bring justice to the wealthy conspirators behind the diabolical plan.
Navigating through the film’s erratic storyline proves to be a challenge. From the Serpent’s dual life involving visits to strip bars for neck-twisting missions to infiltrating an upscale school to befriend a girl for the sole purpose of eliminating her father, the narrative takes unexpected and often bewildering turns. Even a stint in jail for the protagonist, accused of killing a co-worker, adds another layer of complexity to an already tangled web of events.
With wild plot leaps, an abundance of characters serving mainly as exposition vessels, and a narrative structure resembling an exposition dump within a car chase set in a seemingly fenced-off parking lot, “The Serpent” is a perplexing journey where clarity seems elusive at every turn.